Three posts in one year? Slow the fuck down.
It is August 2017 and despite only working about 30hrs a week (and only 10 months of the year) I have been greatly neglecting what I see as my best bet for stepping into freelance/self employment. That’s you, blog.
Teaching was never the dream. But I panicked at the idea of being unemployed after 23 years of parental-ly supported education and here I am. Long term employment was never the dream. My short attention span and issues with authority don’t mesh well with it. If I want to get out of it I need to build up a portfolio and a network to be in a position where I can support my self. The blog and social media are the most effective way of doing that. Even if it weren’t reaching any audience, writing has been very good for me mentally in the past two years, but lately, (read: since last November) every time I sit down, open that “add post” page and look at the little cursor blink, I’ve got nothing. I haven’t done anything remotely creative in almost a year and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m stressed or why I’m stressed.
I need a project.
If you don’t follow Unspirational on Instagram you totally should. If you’ve got me on Instagram (you totally should too) you might have noticed it sort of came back to life recently. I’ve been travelling and honestly my favourite part of the trip has been photographing it. While not everybody would consider Instagram a good motivation for experiencing the world, I have really enjoyed the challenge of getting a great shot from every location and I like having my success measurable via likes. I am very slowly realizing how much I love photography and questioning why I don’t do more of it.
I’m back in NZ right now for the actual holiday part of my summer holidays and I intend on spending it relaxing, but as of September…
My Autumn semester is going to be one with a routine, a routine where I make more time for creative projects and less for bingeing TV series and feeling sorry for myself because my phenomenally well paid job is a little tough. This post is, as so many of mine are, a declaration that the future will be different. I want to do better with the second half of 2017. Take my photography more seriously. Design more. Make more. Build more. Paint more. Post more. DO MORE.
Money and holidays or no, I can’t stay in my current job for longer than another 18 months, I don’t want to. By next summer I want to be in a position where I can be working for myself, even if I don’t make the jump right away, I want it to be an option, so that’s my first 2018 resolution down.
I swear to God I mean it when I say,
Something look a little different? I have officially made the jump from wordpress.com to self-hosted. I would have done it sooner but installing WordPress on a server where you don’t have SQL privileges is incredibly annoying and took me a while to work out. But we’re here now so it’s all fine. If you keep up to date through Facebook/Twitter nothing will change, if you have me bookmarked or follow through WordPress or email you will have to update accordingly to the new site.
The layout will largely stay the same, at least between now and Christmas when I’ll have a lot of time off to mess around with it. Some of the colours might change, and I will hopefully populating all those empty pages with the stuff I’m being graded on.
Other than this transfer, it has been a largely uneventful week. I finally feel like I’ve got a workload to keep me busy and my class have cruelly tried to rip it away from me with talk of an extension. Actually not just talk, there was a vote and I was beaten. And then I, as class rep, had to suck it up and ask for it. I miss the days of studio where people listened to what I said, and more importantly followed my instruction. These iMedia people are capable of independent thought, blast them. It is probably a little early to insult any of them (or you, if you’re reading this as an iMedia person) openly, but I hate extensions, especially when we have so little going on. It’s may be immature to still be stung by this almost a week later, but this is my blog that was literally created for me to bitch on, so deal with it.
On the upside, I had people to be pissed at again, sense of normality at last.
To balance out all the new I’m bringing a whole lot of old, I’ve imported posts from old blogs of mine, back as far as the rubbish I wrote for the Contemporary Design Culture module in second year (2013). So feel free to have a read through that.
Side note: Can I get suggestions on better term for “iMedia person”? Like “product designer” used to work so well. What am I even studying to become? An interactive media-er?
I declared that I wanted a thesis idea decided by the end of week 6, the end of week 7 is close enough. I will be working in the area of (drum roll please) …social wearables. I’m still a bit tin-foil hatty about it to go into detail just yet, but it is the perfect combination of fashion and anti-social behaviour. It is me in gadget form. And I’m really freaking excited about it.
I knew my thesis project would have to be something I would be interested in researching, rather than something I’m interested in doing, like my FYP was. I love altering clothes, but I never wanted to read ISO standards on the topic. Social interactions are interesting to me because they generally have no basis in logic and make fuck all sense. I’ve spent 22 years trying to work out why people do anything and come up blank.
The necessity of a compelling topic is not only for my sanity (that PDT has left me with just a shadow of) but for the sake of my degree. A grade is never a good enough motivator, for me at least. It’s why I half-assed, not one, but two leaving certs and why my bachelors degree says 2nd class honours. In the frankest way possible, I am really fucking intelligent. I have standardised aptitude test results to back that up. I can attribute a certain amount of the failure to translate it to academic success to my temper and “attitude problems”. But the misunderstood genius bit will only get me
so far. When it comes to caring I am all or nothing. It’s why the world cup exit hit me so hard (way harder than I expected, I apologise for the sap I posted last week), I don’t care about much, but when I care, I really care. If I love what I’m doing I’ll stay up all night without even noticing. If I don’t love it, and I mean love it, I’ll probably spend the same amount of time on it, but I’ll feel every second and it shows in the work.
This got really heavy and personal for the second week in a row, I’m having a bit of an identity crisis right now. I’m usually very secure in who I am and what I believe, but lately I’ve felt a bit floaty. Maybe if I write enough about my personality now I can read and recapture it when I feel more grounded. I haven’t been angry and stressed in a really long time. Specsavers have informed me I need new glasses and that’s going to change my whole face. I was looking at frames and all the ones I liked were nothing like the hipster goggles I’ve been rocking since ’10. What if my decision to stop dying my hair wasn’t me being hipster? What if I’m unwittingly rebranding as the most boring person in the world? The blog’s going to get shit.