Clodagh Cares

I declared that I wanted a thesis idea decided by the end of week 6, the end of week 7 is close enough. I will be working in the area of (drum roll please) …social wearables. I’m still a bit tin-foil hatty about it to go into detail just yet, but it is the perfect combination of fashion and anti-social behaviour. It is me in gadget form. And I’m really freaking excited about it.

I knew my thesis project would have to be something I would be interested in researching, rather than something I’m interested in doing, like my FYP was. I love altering clothes, but I never wanted to read ISO standards on the topic. Social interactions are interesting to me because they generally have no basis in logic and make fuck all sense. I’ve spent 22 years trying to work out why people do anything and come up blank.

The necessity of a compelling topic is not only for my sanity (that PDT has left me with just a shadow of) but for the sake of my degree. A grade is never a good enough motivator, for me at least. It’s why I half-assed, not one, but two leaving certs and why my bachelors degree says 2nd class honours. In the frankest way possible, I am really fucking intelligent. I have standardised aptitude test results to back that up. I can attribute a certain amount of the failure to translate it to academic success to my temper and “attitude problems”. But the misunderstood genius bit will only get me
so far. When it comes to caring I am all or nothing. It’s why the world cup exit hit me so hard (way harder than I expected, I apologise for the sap I posted last week), I don’t care about much, but when I care, I really care. If I love what I’m doing I’ll stay up all night without even noticing. If I don’t love it, and I mean love it, I’ll probably spend the same amount of time on it, but I’ll feel every second and it shows in the work.

This got really heavy and personal for the second week in a row, I’m having a bit of an identity crisis right now. I’m usually very secure in who I am and what I believe, but lately I’ve felt a bit floaty. Maybe if I write enough about my personality now I can read and recapture it when I feel more grounded. I haven’t been angry and stressed in a really long time. Specsavers have informed me I need new glasses and that’s going to change my whole face. I was looking at frames and all the ones I liked were nothing like the hipster goggles I’ve been rocking since ’10. What if my decision to stop dying my hair wasn’t me being hipster? What if I’m unwittingly rebranding as the most boring person in the world? The blog’s going to get shit.

All It Takes

I thought about pushing the post again,but realistically this isn’t going to hurt any less in the morning. If you’re not interested in rugby stop reading now.

It had to be too good to be true, didn’t it? I mean, we’ve never made it beyond quarter finals before, why would this year be different? But this year was supposed to be different. In to the last 10 minutes of the game, I was still thinking “It can’t end like this”. We’re better than that, but we can’t do world cups.

I could analyse moments of the game, but it’ll only upset me and I’ve already blubbed today. So I just want to say that not one of those players should feel ashamed of their performance today, least of all Ian Madigan. He’s already getting a bit of a doing and it is horrifically unfair. Up against the pressure of replacing “God’s gift to rugby” (I have long despised Sexton for reasons I don’t quite understand myself, but even some of his supporters must have found the media reaction to his injury a bit much?) he stepped up and played some incredible rugby. I had exactly one problem with Madigan and he shaved it off before the game. No one on the field gave me any reason to be anything but proud of my country. I can only ever ask their best of our boys in green, I believe they always deliver it and I have faith they always will. Irish rugby never says die.

Neither should the Scottish or Welsh sides feel any shame. I would have gladly followed either of them to the semi-finals had their result been different then ours. Both put on phenomenal performances and I wouldn’t wish what happened to Scotland on anyone. Not even England.

The southern hemisphere just proved a step above, and as the best of Europe leave the competition, so does my interest. I’ve tried to get hyped for the All Blacks, after all I have the flag and the jersey, but honestly, who cares? Whether New Zealand win it again, or South Africa win it again, or Australia win it again? (Argentina’s best to date is third, but I couldn’t stomach supporting them) There’s no joy in any of those outcomes for me, so I shall turn my attention to Pro 12

I will leave you with the things making me smile right now.

  1. Knowing that if it didn’t hurt this much then it wouldn’t be worth watching.
  2. This text from my mother:Screenshot_2015-10-18-20-25-42_1
  3. Knowing that in four years, we’ll do it all again in Japan, and I’ll don my green jersey, just as convinced that THIS is our year.

Monday posts will not become a habit

I should have written early yesterday, but I didn’t, and last night I hadn’t much in my head beyond Ian Madigan’s right foot and the look on Paul O’Connell’s face when he tried to stand up after that hamstring injury.

I’ve started with Dreamweaver, and I’ve found the great love of my life. I can’t communicate how much joy this little clip brings me.

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Ignoring the quality of the GIF

Coding is so much more enjoyable when you’re doing it with a purpose. I can literally come up with anything I want those little pixels to do and then try and work out a way of making it happen. It’s incredibly gratifying to see the site do the same thing on screen as it does in my head. I’ve added a link to the menu on here so you can find it easily from now on, but I’m probably going to talk about it a lot and post a bunch of screenshots in the blog too. Realistically this is how I’m going to spend most of my life forever.

IT’S OCTOBER! I mean, it was October the last two times I’ve posted as well, but still. October is the month where face painting is socially acceptable for the over sixes. AND THAT’S ME. If you’re following me on instagram you’ll have seen some of my stuff, and there are more to go. There are at least five more on the pin board I want to try and if anyone has suggestions I would love to hear them. I am technically, kind of qualifying this as college work because aside from the artistry involved in the makeup itself, I’m also practising my photography and Adobe skills. Because by the way, I edit the shit out of those photos.

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Before and after Lightroom

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When you take it at the wrong angle. Actually I really like this photo, but from the side all the shading is basically wasted. (OK, I wanted an excuse to post it)

Yes, removing the earphones is too much to ask.

This should come under the long forgotten Wednesday theme, but this post was short and I’m in too good a mood to bitch about audio production now and those are sort of all the things I have in my life. If I remember to take in progress shots (and save them, not just send weird snapchats) of the next one I’ll make it a WWP post. Or if you just want the snapchats, add yodaomahony, and get many more videos of my computer screen.

My Little Milestone

Surprise, Monday post! Mini celebration time. I now have 10 actual random strangers following the blog regularly, and if you’re reading this as someone I actually know, yes, their opinions mean more to me than yours does.

These past five months I’ve grown to really enjoy writing, despite how much I go on about what a burden it is. While my posts are more akin to the extended Facebook status’ of a teenager than they are the works of Hemingway, I find it extremely cathartic. I’ve always been able to communicate better in written form. Verbally, my brain moves too quickly for my mouth, and by the time I’ve gotten to the end of a sentence I’ve generally forgotten what I was trying to say. This sometimes happens mid-word and it can take me four attempts to spit something out. I have a verbal reset that involves sticking out my tongue and biting at the air while making noises like a toddler (I have no idea what kind of image that gives you, but it’s the only way I can think to describe it). It’s not attractive but it gets the job done.

I also like that writing gives people the option of whether or not they want to listen to me. I am incredibly narcissistic. I have very little capacity for empathy. I’m not massively chatty, but when I do talk, unless you’re interested in the Clodagh Show, I am borderline impossible to have a conversation with. I will twist anything back to something about me or my interests. Writing lets me go on about me without inflicting it on someone who mightn’t necessarily care, but is too polite to say anything. Plus then I don’t have to actually talk to anyone, bonus.

Knowing my waffle is entertaining/interesting enough to CHOOSE to come back to is incredibly validating. Like, more validating than Instagram followers. Probably doesn’t help the narcissism though.

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Sarah Andersen is my spirit animal

I shall endeavour to stay in my angsty teen phase for many years to come. For the good of the blog.

Life Begins at Week 4

I’m horrible person, so I can’t let this week slide without mentioning the fact that England are out of the world cup, that they are hosting, and that it is hysterical. (She says, knowing full well that we need to crush it against Italy today to avoid going the same way ourselves). There are a lot of economical ramifications to this that I’m sure are just awful, but still, its England. When something bad happens to English rugby, it increases happiness globally.

Oh deadlines, how I’ve missed you. Goals. Organisation. CALENDARS.

Current opinion on course: 90% great, 10% audio processing. FUCK ADDITIVE SYNTHESIS

The week wasn’t shaping up to be any different than my first three. The first due date for anything was Friday, but the teaching hours for both modules with assignments were cancelled for the week, because god forbid we deal with an essay and lectures at the same time. But I thought to myself, y’know what’ll put the pressure on? Not starting either of them until Thursday night. I’ve fallen into my leaving cert pattern of “why try for great when I know I can get decent for zero effort?”. It’s not how I want the masters to go down, but it at least gave me a chance to pretend that there is stress in my life. I whined, I sent snapchats of text-walls, I was pitied, and my attention-starved self has been satiated. For now.

My only deadline left at present is 8 weeks away, photography assignment. The module calls for a collection of photos under the theme “Affordances” , which is one of these fun concepts that can be applied to basically any object ever. This makes for the iMedia class’ first inside joke. (The random people you shout “AFFORDANCES” at when they try to pull a push door don’t find it so funny). I know I have nice shots of landscapes and animals filed around though, so I want to put together a full portfolio to put on the site. Everytime I open Lightroom to catalogue photos for this however, I get distracted by old pictures and inevitably end up on Instagram. Someday.

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Artistic shots of USB connections, because affordances.

I am relatively certain the site building starts this week, provided we’re finished playing with green screens and giant lights. I have been given the address of my space on the server, my site currently looks like this. I’m know, you’re dying.

I just wanted a reason to use this GIF again.

I’ll put a permanent link to it in the side menu when I actually start working on it. Once I get started in Dreamweaver, I’m going to spend an unhealthy amount of time playing with it, but since my knowledge of coding currently amounts to beginners HTML, you can’t judge me if I’m thrilled with a list of links on a white page.