I Don’t Know How To Be Happy

Heading into week 4 and the bus up and down from home remains the most taxing part of my life. I realise that I am complaining about having nothing to complain about, but you’re the one reading it, so who’s really ridiculous here?

My course workload is perfectly reasonable (aside from the fact that I’m reading enough to regret the invention of the written word), my lecturers are all interested and therefore interesting, and my class are all sensible, capable and well-adjusted. MY GOD I NEED SOMEONE TO SWEAR AT!

I developed my entire personality around being the cranky, tired, stressed and just all-round scary bitch. I like being that person, it works for me. I will take fear over genuine respect any day, as long as everyone is doing what I tell them to do. It’s hard pull off when you’re not mad at everyone, and I’m not mad at anyone. I don’t know how to do pleasant, neither do I want to.

It’s also hard to have a superiority complex when you’re not fixing other peoples issues for them. And I love my superiority complex, it quite literally makes me feel special. I thought being class rep would assuage this, but no, everyone’s coping just fine thanks. Fan-fucking-tastic. I mean sure, I can look down my nose at undergrads, but I’m not really better than them, just older. And that’s a whole other depressing can of worms that I’m not going to touch.

Help Wanted: Someone to create minor problems for me to solve, and just be generally irritating. All payment will be in the form of verbal abuse.

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